March 30: This is a day I have had to let go of. God has taught me so much about letting go
and truly surrendering my plans, my will, my dreams and my desires to His very
capable hands. I think we all have a vision
for our family and even if they are good-hearted plans, they ultimately could
never compare to what HIS vision is for our family. So, this takes me back to March 30. This is when we were due to have our 3rd
(and final!) child. Couldn’t have been
more perfect. Jermile would be done with
basketball season, able to be home and around for our newborn. If you
asked me the perfect due date, I would’ve told you the end of
March. So, here we had the “perfect”
little plan. But, God had other
plans. I have had friends to miscarry
and you never really understand the pain and loss of that until you actually go
through it yourself. I entered into a
season of doubt, anger, mistrust, devastation and just loss and there was
really nothing anyone could say or do to take that pain away. In His own way, in this season He had me in,
God led me to a small group called LIFE (Living in Freedom Everyday). The way I got to this study is a story in
itself, but God wanted me there, no doubt.
I entered into this study having just miscarried and wanted nothing to
do with surrendering, or allowing God to have His way in my life. But, that is what living in freedom everyday
is. That is what He taught me. It is only when I can truly say, “God, have
Your way” that I can experience true freedom and walk in it everyday. It took me a while to reach that “dawning”
but through LIFE, I can stand up and say, “God, have Your way because there is
no better way.” So, here we are again. July 30:
This is a date I have to let go of.
This is when our 3rd (and final!) child is due. We are blessed beyond measure and thrilled
and feeling truly humble, but even now, we are saying, “Lord, whatever You
want.” I am surrendered and enjoying
living in freedom everyday!!
